Me: So I need you to tell me which ones people are looking at before I put in a reorder.
Her: Well, I don’t really get this brand. Like, I don’t know who any of these people are.
Me: What are you talking about?
Her (pointing to a t-shirt): Like that one. Who is that? Is she somebody?
Me: Uh…yes. That’s Suzi Quatro. Any female who considers herself hip should know who that is. She started it all. She influenced everyone. She’s a legend! The name Suzi Quatro doesn’t ring a bell?
Her: Hmmm…no.
Me: Leather Tuscadero on Happy Days??
Her: Oh…maybe… Okay, so this other one. None of us knew who this was either.
Me: Johnny Thunders? Johnny Thunders?? No one knows Johnny Thunders?
Her: Um… no. I guess that’s why it says “I heart JT”?Me (sounding a little shrill): Yes! It’s Johnny fucking Thunders! He changed our lives, influenced Aerosmith, wore platform shoes, wrote “You Can’t Put Your Arms Around a Memory”, played in the New York Dolls.
(She looks at me blankly)
Me (shrieking): You know, the New York Dolls??
Her: Well, I’m pretty sure I’ve heard of them. So he played in the band?
Me: I feel nauseous and need to lay down. Please excuse me for a moment…
MISS ANTHROPE'S HOUSE OF HIGH DRAMA 