Let Me Touch Your Cookie

ME: This cookie tastes terrible. Where’s my triple chocolate chunk?

DREW: That’s MY vegan cookie. Put it back. You said you didn’t want a cookie so I didn’t get you one.

ME: No, I said I would just have a bite of yours, and you got all huffy like you always do, and you picked out an extra cookie. Are you telling me you only got these crappy ones?

DREW: Yes. I got the cookies I like for ME because you said you didn’t want any. Stop eating my fucking cookie.

ME: This is not nearly as good as the triple chocolate chunk.

DREW: Well, you seem to be inhaling it just fine. You’re really pissing me off. Stop eating my fucking cookies, Mary! You said you didn’t want one!

ME: You are a bitter, bitter man. And that cookie sucked.

DREW: I hate you.

We’re Moving – All Hipsters Must Go!

Wellll…I spent some of the weekend copying and pasting old myspace blogs into the blogger blog (Say it again–blog, blogging, bloggerty, bloggggg) and was slightly embarrassed to notice that there have been more than a couple of crap blogs in my history. But I don’t mind too much because there were some decent ones as well and I can see that it has been great for practice, regardless of topic.

I also decided that it is self-defeating in some ways to continue to post the blogs on myspace as well as blogger, mostly because it splits the comments and traffic. I have never viewed the blog as anything other than a means of personal entertainment and connecting with my friends, but the truth is that if I want to get professional I have to get professional. So if you want to keep up with me, this page is where I’ll be.

And because it’s boring to make you read more than one blog about my blogs, I will spice up your viewing pleasure with these horrendous hipster photos. Please enjoy this opportunity to feel superior to Brooklyn’s over-indulged youth and marvel at more proof that the apocalypse must surely be nigh. Our suffering will soon be at an end, my friends.



Hello good peoples!

I know that it’s been a small time since I’ve blogged. The blame lies with a serious procrastination problem and Fallout 3 for the Xbox. It is imperative that I get my shit together and foment a writing career, and the task looms darkly over my bed at night, like a dream monster. It daunts. And when in daunt, procrastinate in the least cool manner possible. This is me on the weekends:

Nerd alert! But it has finally come to that place where procrastination ceases to be a viable option. All of my friends have publishing deals and are generously offering assistance. It appears that the shitholes we were living in and the crap we were doing to kill ourselves “back in the day” is entertainment now. Who knew? And I do have the ability to write when I put the controller down and stop yelling at my boyfriend, so the only hindrance at this point in time is ME and a desperate fear of change and success.

I had a great talk with Storm, who was here for a few days last week and who will be here next week to perform at Joe’s Pub on December 1. We had a meal together and then had drinks with (her friend) Timothy Hutton and his pal, a man who stated that he worked for the government but wouldn’t tell me exactly what the work entailed. It was some kind of cop-type job and although he wouldn’t say too much about it, I got him to spill all kinds of juicy info on his personal life, which was HIGHLY entertaining. I love it when men I have no emotional investment in let me dissect their brains and hearts. 

In any case, seeing Storm and talking about her successes and our past and what I need to do was immeasurably helpful. She knows me well enough to understand what I need in the way of guidance, and I am much better with baby steps than one large picture. So I have formulated some baby steps:

–I have to move the decent portions of the myspace blog to my blogger account, which I only started last year while the myspace blog has been going for a few years. This will be a chore as there is no way to import directly, it’s going to involve copying and pasting. A few kind people have mentioned that they’ve remained on myspace only to read my blogs, so for those of you who aren’t aware, I have been posting the same blogs in a myspace free zone, here: Miss Anthrope’s House of High Drama. For those of you who are reading this on the blogger site, thank you for keeping close tabs!

And while we’re on the subject, what is everyone’s thought on this blog sitch? Should I continue posting them in both places or just direct people to the blogger site? I’m unsure. Does it even matter?

–I have to put together a package to get myself a book agent. This won’t be too hard as I already have stuff, it just freaks me out to think about it and I’m going to have to do some digging and editing to condense into something appropriately sell-able.

–I have to bug my friends to get meetings for me with their agents. The awesome part about this is that I actually have friends with great agents who are willing to share. I’m so fortunate that others’ ability to get shit done has paved the way for my procrastinating ass. And then once I have said agent I will be able to put together and shop a decent proposal.

–Lastly (and most least, leastly?) I have to dig through all of my old photos and find a very old snap of Storm posing next to her date of the moment’s ginormous cock. She sent it to me when she first moved to California, and she’s raunchier than I am and talks about this massive organ in her show, so I promised I’d try to find the evidence. This is, of course, not part of the book plan, I just think it’s a fun item to put on the list. Sometimes I can’t believe the comic trajectory my life has taken, I am so lucky to never be bored.

It would undoubtedly be wiser to play my cards closer to the chest and not talk about this journey until it’s actually underway. But I have never felt the need to hide anything I’m doing or thinking, unless to do otherwise would harm someone. And even then I still tend to compulsively spill everything (sorry, Mike). So that’s the publicized plan for now. These steps are not too horribly terrifying (except perhaps that last one), and I should be able to chug away at a decent pace without getting too distracted by the Fallout wasteland. So thank you everyone for your words of encouragement, I am honestly very grateful at how kind you all are.

Oh, and PS– On the friends with books tip, Eerie Von has a new book of photos coming out (Misery Obscura) and he’s doing a signing at Generation Records on January 8th, so if you’re in NYC and a fan, save the date. He informed me today that I’m in it, I’m praying it’s nothing too heinous (you never know), but I’m sure the book is going to be special. He’s a great guy and I’m excited to see him in person for the first time in quite some years.

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