No Advice for the Needy

M. Raffaele to Steve Bonge [aka Uncle Cranky]:

Subject: Good morning!

Message:
 I have a headache from boozing it up! Always fun to see you.

So I have a friend who is putting together an online zine about rock and roll and whatever else she feels like putting in there. I think I should propose an “Ask Uncle Cranky” advice column, no?? It would be hilarious. Come on. OR, we could do it on my blog, the link is below.

Photos of our night out are attached.

xoxoxox
Raff

Steve Bonge to M. Raffaele

Subject: MY FUCKING LIFE ! ! …….AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Message:
HEY,
HERE’S A PICTURE FOR YOUR BLOG (? ? IS THAT WHAT THEY CALL IT ? ?).
NOW YOU CAN FEEL MY PAIN, GIRLY.  THE HEADACHE YOU HAVE TODAY IS A RESULT OF YOUR RECKLESS ACTIONS LAST NIGHT,… DON’T BLAME THE INNOCENT BARTENDER (ME) FOR YOUR WILLY NILLY DECISIONS. I ONLY POURED IT IN THE GLASS, YOU WERE THE ONE THAT POURED IT DOWN YOUR THROAT.
HENCE THE HEADACHE. IF YOUR LOOKING FOR A ”HANGOVER SCAPEGOAT” YOUR BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE.
”ASK UNCLE CRANKY” IS A WONDERFUL IDEA, AND AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE TO HELP THE HELPLESS MASSES THERES ONLY SO MUCH ”U.C. 666”   TO GO AROUND, WITHOUT IT BECOMING ANOTHER THANKLESS JOB THAT CONSUMES MY DISMAL LIFE OF PUNCHING IDIOTS AND FUCKING MY PROSTITUTE FRIENDS, WHICH IS ACTUALLY ALOT OF WORK AT MY RIPE AND FEISTY AGE.
IT BOGGLES MY MIND HOW YOU HAVE THE TIME TO ”GO BLOGGING” OR WHAT EVER ITS CALLED WITH THE CYBERSPACE.CROWD, PERHAPS YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE TO DIG MY BIKE OUT OF THE SNOW,  HELL… ILL EVEN COME OUT TO HAND YOU THE SHOVEL.
LET ME KNOW THE NEXT TIME YOU TWO BUFFOONS ARE ”OUT ON THE TOWN” AS I FELT CHEATED BEING STUCK BEHIND THE BAR, AND WAS STUCK THERE, STILL, LONG AFTER YOU’S LEFT.       
BONGE AKA UNCLE M.F.IN CRANKY
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