Causes of the Common Cold

ME (honking into a tissue): What are you watching?

DREW: Marvel’s Ultimate Spiderman

ME: Why does Spiderman look so weird?

DREW: He got bit by a deadly jungle spider.

ME (coughing loudly): Why does Batman have a brown costume now?

DREW: That’s not Batman, that’s Wolverine.

ME: It’s just Batman in a brown costume.

DREW: It’s completely different, and it’s Wolverine.

ME: Well, he looks just like Batman.

(silence)

ME: But brown.

(silence)

ME (honking again): Why does Spiderman sound like a teenager?

DREW: You know what Mary? This is why you’re sick.

ME: Because I’m a horrible person?

DREW: Yes.

ME (coughing): I was merely trying to feign interest in your interests! Hey, I like that costume! What’s that one’s name?

(silence)

ME: If you’re not really into this, can we watch Project Runway?

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