Just Call Me Felix

Lord…week three of complete sobriety…YAWN…

So my beloved friend Kim Montenegro was staying with me for the last three days as she was in town for the London Edge Trade Show. Which she hated btw, and described as “Yin yang symbols and Hot Topic t-shirts”. I never made it up there to lend moral support or write about it as requested for Crusher Magazine because I’d already taken time off work to deal with the phone guy and am going on vacation next week (yippee!).

So having Kim in a confined space such as my East Village one bedroom apartment is much like wrangling a toddler who can handle their wine or an extremely sexy Tasmanian devil. She just whirls around, manically doing five things at once while I follow her grumbling and handing her the items she needs. The conversation goes something like this:

Kim: Oh my God, it’s hot in here, you need a new AC. Should I use this soap? Do you have a washcloth? Is this the right food for the cats? Where should I plug in the curling iron? I can’t find my hair clip. Is this the only kind of hair clip you have? Oh my God, I am so hot I feel nauseous. Do you have a sheet I can put on the couch? Let’s have some pineapple, okay? Where is my phone?? Can we watch an old movie? It is so fucking hot in here!!

Me: It’s not that hot…Your phone is on the hamper…I’m cutting the pineapple now…

She will work and spin and do stuff and talk and vibrate and talk and then, boom, pass out where she drops much like the aforementioned toddler. Usually it’s diagonally across the bed so I have to quietly shove her dead weight to one side before I can go to sleep. And then she wants to wrap herself around me, which I hate, so I spend the night squirming out of her grip like the cat with Pepe LePew, which then makes her feel sad because to her it feels cold and mean.

Luckily she’s got so much going on that once she’s made her super strong coffee in the morning (which gives me heart palpitations and anxiety) she’s ready to forgive and is off and running again with no grudges held.

And so our little comedy routine goes and has gone since the beginning of time. Well, since the 80’s anyway, which is the beginning of time for most of you. She’s hyper and hot and busy and on 10 while I start my days slowly, need a lot of quiet time and space, and am always cold. Drew says it’s the Odd Couple in g-strings and push-up bras. It was cute when we were in our 20’s, now it’s sort of entertaining because it’s been going on for so long. When we get into serious old age I fear that no one will want to come near us, but at least we’ll have each other. Our friendship has survived marriages and substance abuse and matching Pomeranians and distances and children and major differences of opinion on what temperature is comfortable.

For those of you unfamiliar with my tiny world, Kim is a one-woman rock and roll denim designing powerhouse. Her lines Submission and MotorMontenegro can be found here:Very Bad Horse. Her jeans are incredible; they look great and they last forever and the longer you wear them the more bad-ass they become. Kim does it all herself with very little help and manufactures in the U.S., which is really difficult because most companies manufacture in China and sell an inferior product at much lower prices.

So what she does is really an exhausting labor of love more than an easy way to get make a living. And it’s like that for all of the individual clothing designers I know out there, they’re all busting ass to stay alive. It’s kind of brutal and depressing at times but Kim’s talent and vision is undeniable, she’s a legend and I have faith that she will find her way through the current economy.

Without getting into details, at this particular time she is also experiencing a situation with someone who really doesn’t wish her well, and I believe is operating out of a place of fear—fear that deep down they don’t have the creativity and power that she has always exhibited so clearly. The specifics aren’t important but it’s interesting to witness the power/fear theme is manifesting in a business rather than romantic context. I believe that we are all creative and powerful beings, but some people have never learned to tap their own, and instead rely on other means to find feelings of self-worth. And sometimes those means aren’t always on the highest level.

So this is what I have stated to her, and to myself many times, and here once or twice as well, but it bears repeating: Our creativity and our power comes from a higher source, and if one channel for our survival is cut off, meaning if we lose a job or a contract or whatever means our money is coming in, there are an infinite amount of other channels to choose from. The channel is not the source. So if someone is ripping us off or not appreciating us or not paying us what we’re worth, or if circumstances are not conducive to making us feel alive and well-cared for, it is imperative that we look elsewhere. Channels change according to our needs and consciousness level. Source is infinite.

Okay, on a much less evolved and far more gossipy level, here is the latest on the mean girls I blogged about recently: Drew got a text from one of the girls stating that their friend would be interviewing at PF for a job, and could I put in a good word for her. I was stunned, and said, “Let me get this straight. This girl, who has never acknowledged my presence with eye contact or a simple hello, this girl who treats me like I don’t exist and is friends with another girl who purposely goes out of her way to be extra shitty to me whenever possible, is now asking YOU to ask ME to do her a favor?” 

Um yes…that would be the gist of it, Mary.

Suffice to say girlfriend will not be working at the Pink Palace House of Gay Horror any time soon. That particular channel is not open today. Do not fuck with Scorpio vampires. We do strive to be spiritual and loving but we also hold on to shit until the end of time. We write it all down in tiny serial killer handwriting on a long list in our head, and we quietly wait for the opportunity to strike, which always comes. If any one of these little amateurs had bothered to talk to me like a human being I could have explained this nicely and then gotten them a damn job. Ha! Try Hot Topic, bitch. I hear they’re hiring.

And lastly, for those of you who are asking about Jesse: He pushed himself too hard on tour and hurt his back. He’s currently resting and getting treatment so he can get back on track as quickly as possible, but it’s painful. I ask that anyone who is a fan or loves him to please send him lots of white light whenever you think about him to aid with the healing.

Author: Raffaele

Rock and roll juggernaut, writer, muse, animal lover, Cycle Slut from Hell, friend, lover, sister, daughter, nerd, fagwoman, Slytherin, killer queen.

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