1. George Bush: You know I have to head the list with him.
2. Gina Gershon: 5 words—Prey For Rock & Roll. Um, eeuw.
3. Ashleigh Simpson: Just how much TV time does she need to download our souls?
4. Jamie Kennedy in Son of the Mask.
5. Jennifer Lopez: Luckily that weasely looking rebound husband of hers is keeping her down.
6. Hip hop and all its bloated and overpaid denizens: There, I’ve said it, someone had to and you know it’s true. Seemed like a good idea when Run DMC and Aerosmith were rubbing noses, plus Missy Elliott is amazing and I love when Busta Rhymes shoves his face in the camera and shouts “Woo Ha!” But overall it’s just ruined both black and white culture completely. Take a look at Wattstax next time it’s on IFC and tell me that black culture wasn’t a million times cooler pre hip hop.
7. Victoria Gotti and her monkeyboy offspring: Low IQ’s anyone? Their hairlines are in the middle of their foreheads for God’s sake. Which leads me to…
8. Reality shows: Although I will admit that I watch America’s Next Top Model, because it’s fun to watch wannabe models torture each other and Tyra Banks is such a raging egomaniac that I can’t wait to hear what stupid thing is going to come out of her mouth next. I sometimes wonder if she might be the seventh sign (the Guf!).
9. Good Charlotte. Okay, maybe I’m just padding out the list with this one, but they do annoy the hell out of me.
10. Our overall obsession and glorification of all things plastic: everyone has to be pretty to have value now, and our deities are celebrities. We worship at the altar of surface and our culture suffers mightily for it. Would Janis Joplin have any kind of real success if she was starting out today? Think about it.
Okay now you give me yours…