DREW: So…remember.at the wake when that woman came up to me and said she wanted to come to one of my gigs?
ME: Yes.
DREW: After that she kept following me around and talking about coming to the city to see a show.
ME: Are you serious? Like hitting on you? At your dad’s wake??
DREW: I think so. It was weird. She wouldn’t leave me alone. I was terrified you would notice.
ME: I did notice that she was sort of hitting on you that once but I thought I was being paranoid. I also noticed that she had disproportionately fat calves.
DREW: Did she? I didn’t see that, I kept running away. It was freaking me out!
ME: How dare she? I will knock that cankled bitch right out.
DREW: I know! That’s why I was scared! People flying, the coffin falling over. My sister screaming.
ME: Well, she did say she wanted to see your dad one more time.
DREW: Ha! Right? Dad on the ground, flowers everywhere, kids scarred for life…It just would not be good.
ME: I can’t believe you were able to hide that from me! Although honestly, with those legs she’s gotta be really solid on her feet, so she can probably handle herself in a funeral brawl.
DREW: Yeah…low center of gravity.
ME: Exactly.
DREW: We are horrible people.
ME: I know, Honey.
MISS ANTHROPE'S HOUSE OF HIGH DRAMA 