ME (honking into a tissue): What are you watching?
DREW: Marvel’s Ultimate Spiderman
ME: Why does Spiderman look so weird?
DREW: He got bit by a deadly jungle spider.
ME (coughing loudly): Why does Batman have a brown costume now?
DREW: That’s not Batman, that’s Wolverine.
ME: It’s just Batman in a brown costume.
DREW: It’s completely different, and it’s Wolverine.
ME: Well, he looks just like Batman.
ME: But brown.
ME (honking again): Why does Spiderman sound like a teenager?
DREW: You know what Mary? This is why you’re sick.
ME: Because I’m a horrible person?
ME (coughing): I was merely trying to feign interest in your interests! Hey, I like that costume! What’s that one’s name?
ME: If you’re not really into this, can we watch Project Runway?