ME (Turning on overhead light while Drew is sleeping): HEY!
DREW (squinting): What?? Turn that off, it’s too bright.
ME: Are we going to have a good Christmas?
DREW: You tell me. Are we?
ME: We are if you can stop being a jerk. That’s why I’m asking.
DREW: Well I’m asking too. I’m not being a jerk. Are you going to stop being a jerk?
ME: I’M not being a jerk. You’re being a jerk.
DREW: You’re the jerk. Turn the light off.
ME: Not until you say you’re going to stop being a jerk.
DREW: Okay, you’re going to stop being a jerk.
ME: Light’s still on.
DREW: All right. I’ll stop being a jerk! Turn it off!
ME: Okay, then we’re going to have a good Christmas.
(light goes off)
DREW (quiet voice from the dark bedroom): You know, some people might say that only a JERK would turn the light on like that.
ME: I can’t hear you! But since you’re up, wanna watch Scrooge?