Jerky Christmas



ME (Turning on overhead light while Drew is sleeping): HEY!

DREW (squinting): What?? Turn that off, it’s too bright.


ME: Are we going to have a good Christmas?


DREW: You tell me. Are we?


ME: We are if you can stop being a jerk. That’s why I’m asking.


DREW: Well I’m asking too. I’m not being a jerk. Are you going to stop being a jerk?


ME: I’M not being a jerk. You’re being a jerk. 


DREW: You’re the jerk. Turn the light off.


ME: Not until you say you’re going to stop being a jerk.


DREW: Okay, you’re going to stop being a jerk.


(pause)


ME: Light’s still on.


DREW: All right. I’ll stop being a jerk! Turn it off!


ME: Okay, then we’re going to have a good Christmas.


(light goes off)


DREW (quiet voice from the dark bedroom): You know, some people might say that only a JERK would turn the light on like that.


ME: I can’t hear you! But since you’re up, wanna watch Scrooge?

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