Authenticity

ME: I hate the way the bottom half of my face is looking in photos lately. It looks old. I need a facelift.
DREW: Why don’t you do face yoga? (Pulls his chin out and up) There are exercises.
ME: That’s a good idea. I’ll research it online.
DREW: Or maybe just shut up. You’re probably loosening the skin by flapping your jaw so much.
ME: I am living my authentic self, like Oprah says I should. I am speaking my truth.
DREW: Well, your truth is very noisy. It’s a noisome truth.
ME: Well, my truth for today is that you are an asshole.
DREW: I don’t think making that face is good for your skin either.
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3 thoughts on “Authenticity”

  1. I'm sorry, but if you can no longer care for Drew due to the abundance of animals, I am happy to foster him for a while. I know he can be a precocious handful, but I think a timeout is in order before you get any meaner.

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  2. I definitely recommend juvederm if you decide to actually do something about that face. I know how you feel. I'm not the old but everything on my face is starting to look hard and angular, but also droopy. It's a very weird phenomenon. I wonder how I can age less quickly.

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