ME: I hate the way the bottom half of my face is looking in photos lately. It looks old. I need a facelift.
DREW: Why don’t you do face yoga? (Pulls his chin out and up) There are exercises.
ME: That’s a good idea. I’ll research it online.
DREW: Or maybe just shut up. You’re probably loosening the skin by flapping your jaw so much.
ME: I am living my authentic self, like Oprah says I should. I am speaking my truth.
DREW: Well, your truth is very noisy. It’s a noisome truth.
ME: Well, my truth for today is that you are an asshole.
DREW: I don’t think making that face is good for your skin either.