This Is What Happens…

…when cranky old rock chicks finally get fed up…

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ME: So how are things going with X?

UNNAMED FEMALE FRIEND: You mean Fatso?

ME: Haha!

UFF: That fucking fat faggot? I’ll tell you how things are going. They’re NOT.

ME: Shit. What happened?

UFF: What do you think happened? He’s a fucking asshole, that’s what happened. I hate him. Those fucking bikers, they think they’re so badass. They’re all a bunch of pussies, that’s why they have to start their little clubs together, they can’t stand alone. I fucking hate him, and I told him so.

ME (laughing): Wow, harsh.

UFF: And then I hit him.

ME: You HIT HIM??? Are you nuts?

UFF: Yeah, I fucking hit him. Fucking faggot. I said, “How dare you lure me back into this bullshit with a promise that it would be different this time, then you TORTURE me again with your shitty behavior!” How DARE he! That is just NOT DIGNIFIED. So I slapped him.

ME: Oh my God. You are KILLING me! Then what happened?

UFF: He told me to never hit him again.

ME: So what did you do?

UFF: I fucking backhanded him with the same hand.

ME: You are completely insane. Weren’t you scared he would hit you back? He’s huge!

UFF (making the meanest face imaginable): I’d love it if he tried. Then I’d really kick his big fat ass.

ME: So I guess it’s over then?

UFF: Yes. Another fabulous relationship down the toilet.

DREW (calling from an attempted nap in the other room): You guys are gonna give me nightmares!

Author: Raffaele

Rock and roll juggernaut, writer, muse, animal lover, Cycle Slut from Hell, friend, lover, sister, daughter, nerd, fagwoman, Slytherin, killer queen. View all posts by Raffaele

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