Texting with Guy

Guy: Me and Drew hate you.

Me: You’re just jealous.

Guy: We’ve been laughing at your expense.

Me: Like two fat girls in the cafeteria.

Guy: Now he’s hitting on me.

Me: Hahaha! He likes old ladies.

Guy: Obviously.

Me: I gave you that one. I know you’re alone at the party and need to look like you’re texting a friend. 

Guy: Yes, thanks for making me look young and hip.