Let Me Touch Your Cookie

ME: This cookie tastes terrible. Where’s my triple chocolate chunk?

DREW: That’s MY vegan cookie. Put it back. You said you didn’t want a cookie so I didn’t get you one.

ME: No, I said I would just have a bite of yours, and you got all huffy like you always do, and you picked out an extra cookie. Are you telling me you only got these crappy ones?

DREW: Yes. I got the cookies I like for ME because you said you didn’t want any. Stop eating my fucking cookie.

ME: This is not nearly as good as the triple chocolate chunk.

DREW: Well, you seem to be inhaling it just fine. You’re really pissing me off. Stop eating my fucking cookies, Mary! You said you didn’t want one!

ME: You are a bitter, bitter man. And that cookie sucked.

DREW: I hate you.

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