ME: This cookie tastes terrible. Where’s my triple chocolate chunk?
DREW: That’s MY vegan cookie. Put it back. You said you didn’t want a cookie so I didn’t get you one.
ME: No, I said I would just have a bite of yours, and you got all huffy like you always do, and you picked out an extra cookie. Are you telling me you only got these crappy ones?
DREW: Yes. I got the cookies I like for ME because you said you didn’t want any. Stop eating my fucking cookie.
ME: This is not nearly as good as the triple chocolate chunk.
DREW: Well, you seem to be inhaling it just fine. You’re really pissing me off. Stop eating my fucking cookies, Mary! You said you didn’t want one!
ME: You are a bitter, bitter man. And that cookie sucked.
DREW: I hate you.