Bringing the Crazy

ME: Hello, Patricia Field.

CALLER: Hello, this is Crazy X from Crazy X’s Hat’s on X Street.

ME: Hi.

CALLER: I met Patricia some years ago and I want her to put our hats in the new Sex and the City movie.

ME: Well, that’s not so easy. There are thousands of designers trying to get their items in the movie right now.

CALLER: But we live in the neighborhood.

ME: Okay, that’s great…You’re welcome to drop off samples at the store if you’d like, but it’s not a guarantee that she’ll use anything. We get tons of calls about this every day.

CALLER: So she doesn’t support the neighborhood.

ME: I’m not saying that. I’m saying that every designer in the world wants to have their merchandise in the movie and it’s simply not possible to accommodate everyone. Patricia chooses what she needs aesthetically and that’s it.

CALLER: So she only uses international designers, she ignores her neighbors.

ME: That’s not true. Patricia supports many local and unknown designers.

CALLER: Well, she should use our hats. They’re exquisite.

ME (sighing): I’m sure they are. As I said, you’re welcome to drop off samples, there’s just no guarantee that she’ll use them. The movie is already in production.

CALLER: Well I don’t understand why she can’t support a neighbor.

ME: You know, we’re kind of going in circles. If you would like to drop off samples I promise you that Pat will see them. That’s the best I can do. Put a note with them and we’ll give it to her assistant. She comes in every day to pick up the mail.

CALLER: I saw that girl. It’s her daughter, right?

ME: Um…no. It’s her assistant.

CALLER: Okay, what’s the address of the store.

ME: Well, it is in the neighborhood…

Author: Raffaele

Rock and roll juggernaut, writer, muse, animal lover, Cycle Slut from Hell, friend, lover, sister, daughter, nerd, fagwoman, Slytherin, killer queen.

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