Some Items for the Ladies on a Sunday Afternoon

First, some of you may have seen these already, they were all over the celebrity gossip sites, but I thought they were worth commenting upon:

We all know everyone is airbrushed but it’s important to remind ourselves that the images of perfection that we see are not real and contain standards that we can’t hold ourselves to in our day to day life. Even someone as perfect as Jessica Alba gets whittled and smoothed.

And on this tip, I saw a gorgeous but dangerously anorexic girl in my gym yesterday. She had a beautiful face but when she pulled her clothing off it was terrifying. I’ve never seen anything like it, her back looked like a dinosaur’s because you could see every vertebrae, and she still had a weird little pot belly around her abdomen (my constant neurosis bc I don’t have a perfectly flat stomach) because her organs are in there and everything else was emaciated down to concave. I don’t know how she was able to work out, and it was such a tragedy to see. Everyone in the room was stunned to silence.

To me it was a reminder that we (and by we I mean both women AND men) need to stay strong and love ourselves and to take care of and enjoy our bodies the way they are. We are all so beautiful there is so much potential for joy in being alive, and we spend so much time arguing the fact. (Translation – spaghetti with a glass of wine for dinner tonight! Yee haw!)

And I stole this list from The Beauty Stop – my comments are italicized…


While fashion trends come and go in a flash these days, one constant
seems to be the height of the heels on our, well, heels – high, higher
and vertiginous. So whether you’re a seasoned stiletto gal or a
fresh-faced foot fashionista-in-training, here’s 10 tips to ensure you
last longer than 10 minutes in your strapping, sexy and sadistic new

1) Make sure they fit firmly – and properly. It sounds basic, but lust can often blinker our perspective when flashing the plastic on a fab new pair of Blahnik’s finest. Too tight, you’ll be in pure hell in minutes (and on a fast track to bunions); too loose and you risk serious ankle injury. Either way it’s not worth your money or the risk.

2) Look for chunkier heels and concealed platforms – these up the stability and wearability factor.

3) Ignore the fashion editorials and do not wear stockings or socks with strappy heels – this will eliminate the ability of your toes to get a ‘grip’, which is integral to maintaining your stability.
Stockings + strappy, open-toed heels = accident waiting to happen.

4) Confidence is key – think how awkward teenage girls look in 3″ plus heels – like newly born giraffes. Lean back, stand tall, chest up (not out), lower stomach muscles slightly contracted to support your
lower back – and stride, from the hip.

5) Be a little strategic – there’s no shame in wearing little fold-away flats or ballet slippers til you reach your destination (or like me, just around the corner – after all, you don’t want to
spoil your entrance!)

6) Don’t try to be a hero – if you know it’s going to be a long night, take a Nurofen or other pain-blocker and keep extras handy. (Yippee!)

7) Minimise the walking you have to do – it all adds up over the hours to quite a distance… Avoid stairs, and uneven surfaces. (and sit down at every opportunity)

8) Take the opportunity to link arms or hands with a friend or partner – the extra stability always helps! (This is also a great way to get close with someone you’re interested in. Omg, I’m so Sex and the City right now…)

9) Or just don’t walk at all – put funds aside for cabs. If you think this is too extravagant, think about how how much your feet hurt last time you overwore high heels, and how much you would have willingly paid for a foot massage to relieve the agony. Would you have
paid more for a massage than the cost of the taxi? Thought so…

10) Nothing is less appealing than a woman in high heels who looks like she’s suffering. You bought them, knowing just what you were getting yourself into. So if, despite all the above, you find yourself in pain, please don’t moan and groan. Pride yourself on your stoic
sensibility – and just smile. (Oh please. Do all the whining you like, it’s a good way to get a seat.)


All right, gotta go make some calls. I just noticed that there’s no new Rock of Love Bus episode tonight. Damn it! Heads will roll!!


Author: Raffaele

Rock and roll juggernaut, writer, muse, animal lover, Cycle Slut from Hell, friend, lover, sister, daughter, nerd, fagwoman, Slytherin, killer queen.

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