Some advice/requests for Long Island bands playing Manhattan for the first time:
Filling the room with relatives that you’ve talked into the long drive into ‘the city’ is not the same as having a packed house.
Tell your drummer that twirling his sticks as often as possible will not fool people into thinking he can play. It just makes him look like a douche.
It is not necessary to play for an hour and a half for your ‘full room’. You Aunt Stell is already tired from the drive and it annoys everyone else, especially the headlining act.
And as an addendum to the point, padding out the set with U2 covers is not necessary for gigs at The Annex, Arlenes, Pianos, etc.
And as further addendum, your older brother, his wife, your cousin Joey and his new girlfriend pumping their fists in the air and shouting “YEAH!!” does not constitute the necessity for an encore after your already hour-plus long, padded with covers set.
Please bring more chubby, orange ex-strippers with giant, wonky implants and bad waist length blond extensions. I find them interesting to look at and fun to party with.
Less hair gel is not imperative but would be decidedly more flattering.
MISS ANTHROPE'S HOUSE OF HIGH DRAMA 