Ezekiel 25:17


ME: Hello

DREW: Hi!

ME: You sound happy. What’s going on?

DREW: I just got hit on by two grade C hipster model types on the street.

ME: In front of the apartment?

DREW: Yep.

ME: What happened?

DREW: They came running up and one said they saw me walking up and down the street and wanted to know if I wanted to hang out.

ME: Hang out? Those bitches! Right in broad daylight, in front of my house when I’m sick with a cold?

DREW (all pleased with himself): I know! You’re mad, aren’t you?

ME: Totally mad!

DREW (giggling): And it’s not my fault!

ME: Is nowhere sacred, goddamnit? So they both wanted to hang out?

DREW: I think one was just the wing man.

ME: Wing man?? I will kill you, Andrew. So what did you say?

DREW: It’s not my fault! I did exactly as instructed and told them I had a girlfriend.

ME: And what did they do?

DREW: They kind of got jumpy and ran away.

ME: They’d better fucking run away. But I’m still mad. I WILL KILL EVERYONE! Do you hear me? I will come downstairs and WREAK UNHOLY VENGEANCE.

DREW: Well, first you’d to have to comb your hair and put some clothes on.

ME: Crap! That’s too much work. And Law and Order is on…Hey, do you think you could get some chocolate pudding while you’re out?

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