Two Pounds Down

Me: Hello?

Drew: How’s work going?

Me: It’s fine. What’s going on, honey?

Drew: Been looking for the TV remote for a half an hour. Any ideas on that?

Me: Did you check in the couch?

Drew: Yep.

Me: How about my jean drawer. You know I forget it there sometimes.

Drew: Yep.

Me: Cupboard?

Drew: Not there.

Me: How about the secondary jean drawer? The one in the armoire?

Drew: Checking it now…ah…nope.

Me: That is weird.

Drew: Can you look in your purse please?

Me: You think? Okay hang on….checking…Um…Yes, actually. I DID put the TV remote in my purse. It’s here. Oops!

Drew: Goddamnit, Mary, will you please eat some fucking carbs already? You’re killing me.

Me: Have I mentioned today how handsome you are?

Drew: I’m hanging up now.

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