This One’s for You, Dano

It’s a monsoon out there and I’m supposed to be making some changes on the CSFH myspace page, but I just don’t have the will to be productive today. Instead let’s just add another blog.

On Friday night I had two or three or four shots of tequila and while doing so took the time to force my friend Dano to take a few sips of water. Once I learned that he prefers ginger ale I set about torturing him re his liquid intake. It kills me when my friends don’t drink enough water. I know this is ridiculous and buttinski but I can’t help it.

As much as I like my tipple, I am very fussy about other liquids with no alcoholic properties. Personally I’ve never been a huge fan of soda which is probably why I’m such a water snob. I will have the occasional red bull when I’m feeling too drunk or a jack and coke here and there when Motorhead is in town, but mostly just in tribute or if I’ve managed to weasel myself into Lemmy’s dressing room to consume his booze. I have a low tolerance for stimulants and too much soda makes me feel edgy and dehydrated. I don’t drink fruit juice that often either bc I feel like it’s just pouring liquid sugar into my system, but today’s lecture is about soda.

Also, on a side note, I purchased a book recently which talks about, and contains photographs of how water reacts to your energy. It looks really interesting and you can find information about this amazing study here: Water Crystals. So for those of you who have similar metaphysical beliefs to myself, I highly recommend taking a second to bless the water you put into your body before drinking it. Everything on this planet has a vibration and whatever you’re taking into your body and energy should be of the hightest vibration possible in order to keep healthy and sane. Also, for you New York dwellers, the water is so recycled here that it’s good to drink as much bottled as you can.


  • 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.
  • In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.
  • Even MILD dehydration will slow down one’s metabolism as much as 3%.
  • One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.
  • Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
  • Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers. Hmm…who can I think of who has back pain?
  • A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.
  • Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%,and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.

Okay, now I know you don’t drink Coke Dano, but it’s all the same shit really. I looked these claims up though and some of them are unproven. I’ve indicated which ones are proven and which ones aren’t according to

And now for the properties of COKE:

  • In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the truck to remove blood from the highway after a car accident. Unproven
  • You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in two days. Unproven
  • To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the “real thing” sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous China. True
  • To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of aluminium foil dipped in Coca-Cola. True
  • To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca- Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion. True but sounds sticky and messy and boiling water has been recommended instead.
  • To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes. True
  • To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminium foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for sumptuous brown gravy. Um…yuck.
  • To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield. They didn’t cover this one but there is no way I’m pouring Coke on my clothes. I get this along with other liquids by default from hanging out in Cups on a Friday night anyway.

For Your Info

  • The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days. The nail part is unproven.
  • Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis. True
  • To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous material place cards reserved for Highly corrosive materials. True
  • The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years! True

Okay, end of lecture. Guess I’ll continue the procrastination by noodling around youtube for a while. Then I’m making a stir-fry. With tofu just in case anyone’s wondering.

Author: Raffaele

Rock and roll juggernaut, writer, muse, animal lover, Cycle Slut from Hell, friend, lover, sister, daughter, nerd, fagwoman, Slytherin, killer queen.

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